the Origin Story:
In those days there were Christmas breads & Christmas cookies in abundance for all of the Choosey people. Their Recipes multiplied.
“Fear
not!”…said the Choosey people, “For we shall join a gym in January when
they have all those special offers!”
Oftimes, the Choosiest among them made Real Eggnog
with heavy cream & raw eggs, in order to exhibit the authenticity of their
merry-making.
“Good
tidings!”…they cried, “For the Rum shall kill
the Salmonella, if there is any, which we’re pretty sure there isn’t.” All were glad for the giving, receiving &
consuming of these rare treats for the entire month of December because:
“It’s Christmas!”
And yet, January always came with bitter cold &
relentless news coverage of the pounds gained by Americans between
Thanksgiving & the New Year. The Choosey people would listen & silently
wonder: “Is that all?”
Then, finally, a long time ago in 2006, one of
the Choosey people decided to create a new tradition. While she did not want to be a
grinchy killjoy, she chose to
not surround herself with butter,
sugar & flour for a whole month. She’ had an idea to make a festive Christmas vegetable,
something relatively healthful & vibrantly colorful, which might be homemade,
wrapped with care & given to dear friends.
Thus the first Merry
Christmas Pickles came
into the world.
the Symbolism contained within:
The meaning of each jar of Merry
Christmas Pickles is
far deeper than their lovely red,green & white color scheme.
Remember this as you take, & eat:
Green Cucumbers =
God-made-Flesh or Son-of-God. (Pick one or make-up your own joke.)
White Onions =
Immaculate Conception or the Multilayered, Eye-stinging Quality of
Humanity’s Constant Longing for Divine Intervention.
Red Bell
Peppers = Blood. (In religious symbolism
something must represent blood.)
Mustard
Seeds = Us
Merry Christmas to all!
